ARE YOU LISTENING?
Listening: Something we do every day, but do we always hear what is being said?
Listening is a skill that affects every interaction that we have; from a brief interaction with someone holding a door for us, a long and important business meeting, a catch up with a friend over coffee or even talking with our children about their day at school. Listening is a skill that we all take for granted and yet is one that we can all be better at.
We've all had those conversations where the person that we are talking to is nodding, but not looking at us and we feel as though they aren’t taking any notice of what we’re saying. In fact, I’d go as far to say that from time to time we have all been that person. Passively listening to someone talk, waiting for our turn to speak – listening to their words but not actively trying to understand. Most of the time in our interactions, we listen – but we don’t always hear. Active listening takes a lot more effort but is so important to be able to communicate effectively and has some great benefits, including;
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Improving memory and recall,
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Higher emotional intelligence,
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Decision making,
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Aids understanding and empathy, in turn helping with conflict resolution,
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Helps people to make more positive connections through ‘being heard’; strengthening both personal and professional relationships,
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Better communication often means better outcomes and less frustration.
Luckily there are things that we can do to work on our listening skills. Following the steps below will help you to practice active listening and can be used in every engagement we have:
1) Face the person speaking to you, this shows basic manners and interest in what someone is saying,
2) Try not to multi-task – this demonstrates focus and makes the speaker feel that what they have to say is important. We live in a time where it is normal to be checking our phones several times during conversation but this is causing problems with communication skills. Becoming more mindful (staying in the present moment) is a good skill to practice to help with this step,
3) Body language – Try to sit (or stand) still and lean forward slightly as this shows you are eager to listen,
4) If you are unsure what the speaker means ask clarification questions such as ‘could you repeat that?’, ‘could you rephrase that?’, or ‘can you elaborate?’
5) Ask specific questions to get further information,
6) Repeat what has been said in your own words – this is a good way to check your understanding and the speaker will know that you have listened.
Improving listening skills takes conscious effort on a daily basis but is definitely a skill that we can all strive to improve. With so many benefits to our personal and professional lives, why wouldn’t you?
