Personal growth – it’s all in the name. But what happens when you are in a relationship? Does personal growth have to suffer due to lack of time, and considering the needs of another person? Or could we actually supercharge our self-development with the help of the right partner?

How can we grow together without losing our sense of self?

I’m sure you’ve probably been there – you’ve met someone new, and suddenly, gym sessions have been replaced with cosy nights in, you’re not reading as much as you used to, and you’ve not been to an event in ages, because you’re spending all your time with them!

Whatever your current relationship status – happily single, hoping to meet someone, newly coupled up, or in a long-term relationship – you will have a need for self-development. Being on your own can make it easier to fulfil this need, as you generally have more spare time to play with. Being in a relationship can mean that the routines and activities you once enjoyed and prioritised take a back seat, in preference of joint hobbies and spending time together.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. What if you decided to join forces with your other half to ensure that personal growth was not only something you could still engage in, but enjoy doing together and maximise the potency because there are two of you?

Here are some ways to maintain personal growth in a relationship, and share self-development with a loved one for even better results than you could imagine:

• Try meditating together – pop a guided meditation on YouTube first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed.
• Make a shared vision board or goals list – discuss the things that you would both like to do, have, or achieve in your lives, and make a collage or list to display.
• Attend an event together based on a shared interest or something you’d like to learn more about. There are some fabulous expos, seminars and summits on wealth, health, spirituality, business and so much more!
• Sign up for an online course, webinar or challenge together. Benefit from the new knowledge, but also the process of taking part together.
• Choose a podcast to listen to separately, then make time to discuss the episode together. This could add a new dimension to your chats around the dinner table!
• Set aside some time each morning or evening for your own personal growth activities. You’ll each work on your own things, but you can still be together, enjoy each other’s company, and keep each other accountable. For example, one of you may want to do yoga and the other might prefer to read.
• Read together each morning or evening – you could choose the same book or different ones. You might decide to discuss the books or just enjoy reading them.
• Ask each other questions like ‘what is feeling important to you right now?’ or ‘what have you learnt about yourself lately?’. This can help you to deepen your connection with your partner and learn more about them, as well as bringing any niggles or problems to light before they take hold.
• Continue with hobbies, routines or rituals that are important to you, and make space and time for new ones which take your fancy, whether these involve your partner or not.
  
  

Whilst maintaining your own identity and promoting your own individual development, make sure that you are also growing together to maintain closeness and connection. Communicate often and without pressure, taking genuine interest in the journey you are embarking on together. Enjoying self-development together as a couple could be the best thing you ever do!

PS If you want to stimulate your brain outside of the workplace, check out the Philosopher-in-Residence blog – out fortnightly on Thursdays, courtesy of Make Me A Plan’s Principal Planner, Anna Pascoe. Browse the latest edition ON PLANNING - Make Me A Plan