Being vulnerable has never been something that I’ve found particularly easy – and I’m sure that many people feel the same way. After all being vulnerable, is to show other people those parts of us that we don’t necessarily always like or approve of. Being vulnerable is to reveal what we keep hidden from others, the parts of us that are not always perfect or pretty.  Allowing others to see these parts of us can often feel especially difficult as our natural instinct is to protect ourselves; to put up our barriers and not let people see past them for fear of being judged or abandoned is what we tend to do- but being scared to let other people see our true selves can actually limit us with what we can achieve and with what  we can feel. In fact, pretending not to be who we are by hiding the parts of us that make us feel vulnerable can be truly exhausting.  Portraying ourselves as one thing while feeling another is inconsistent with who we really are and the pressure of keeping up the appearance of this alter ego can cause us a lot of unnecessary anxiety.  Allowing people to really see us; to be as honest as we can about who we are, can actually help us to connect with people.  When they see our weaknesses, this gives them the chance to see past those barriers that we put up as protection and helps people to feel as if they really know us, enabling them to view us as genuine.  

Being vulnerable is not at all easy. In fact, it can be very difficult to voluntarily put ourselves in a position that we know can hurt us.  

It is often much easier to allow ourselves to be open to others when we have come to terms with what we perceive to be our flaws. If we have a higher self-esteem and love ourselves first and foremost, we tend to be more resilient and don’t mind so much if we aren’t fully accepted by others. Our own self-worth is what defines how we feel about ourselves.  We become less afraid of rejection and have less need for the armour that we place around ourselves. In fact, the more we can be authentic in our own opinions and in our own self we find that we actually begin to attract people to us that are inspired by our congruency. 

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to others is a process; something that happens over a space of time and begins with loving ourselves.  It is also not something you learn the once and have mastered. Life continues to give us opportunities to choose vulnerability – or not, as we venture through it and each time we have to make that decision, it is a learning curve. The best we can do is to tell the truth when someone asks how we are, to admit when we find something difficult and to be honest with ourselves - and with others.