‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with’ – quite possibly my favourite and most repeated quote of all time, curtesy of entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn.

Why do I love it so much?

It recognises the influence of the people you surround yourself with, and acknowledges that the habits and behaviours of those around you are likely to affect your own purely because of proximity and frequency.

It acts as a warning and as a motivation. Encouraging you to step away from people who might affect your choices, reputation, or attitude negatively, and daring you to step outside of your comfort zone and into rooms with people who embody the attributes you’d like for yourself.

People don’t usually change you by persuasion. Simply being close enough to someone for long enough is all it takes for their actions to seem normal, and for you to take them on as your own. We are social beings – hardwired with the need to fit in. Survival mode kicks in and we do whatever it takes to be accepted, loved and to remain as one of the tribe. Being rejected is too risky, so, whether consciously or subconsciously, we conform.

It is easy to stick with people who make us feel comfortable, but intentionally choosing who we spend our time with, and deliberately aiming to be around those who lift us, inspire us and positively influence us could significantly impact our health, wealth, career success, and other areas of our life.

Some relationships nourish you. Others hold you back or keep you moving on a trajectory that reflects who you were in past. It isn’t about removing people from your life, but more about noticing the effect that people could be having on you, and considering how you could make changes in order to ensure that you are mostly spending time with people who help you to be the best version of yourself.

You don’t have to abandon family members or long term friends just because they don’t share your ambition or healthy lifestyle, but you can consider supplementing your current relationships with new connections that support the person you are striving to become. Seek out mentors, aligned communities, and people who challenge and encourage you. Be mindful too of the energy and value you provide for others – this works both ways!

Curate your circle with care. Choose your influences mindfully. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

PS – If you want some more guidance and to ponder on the big questions in life, why not check out the Philosopher-in-Residence series. Out every fortnight on a Thursday, and written by our Principal Planner, Anna Pascoe.  You can take a peek at the latest edition here: ON NOSTALGIA - Make Me A Plan